Rajnikant Vs the Computer World

Rajnikant Vs the Computer World
1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.
3. Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

General facts about Rajnikant
1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
3. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
4. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
7. Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!
8. Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

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10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.
11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
13. Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.
14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.
16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
17. It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes .
18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.
19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
23. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
26. Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
42. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
45.. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
46. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

51. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
55. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
56. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
62. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
63. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
64. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
70. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
71. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Rajnikant 50+ jokes

1. Rajinikanth makes onions cry.
2. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

3. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

4. Rajinikanth can build a snowman... out of rain.

5. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

6. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

7. When Rajinikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,.. he turns the dark off.

8. When Rajinikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.

9. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajinikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

10. The last digit of pi is Rajinikanth. He is the end of all things.

11. Rajinikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

12. Bullets dodge Rajinikanth.

13. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajinikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

14. Rajinikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanth.

15. If you spell Rajinikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajinikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

16. Rajinikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

17. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

18. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

19. Rajinikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

20. Rajinikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

21. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajinikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

22. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

23. Rajinikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

24. Rajinikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life? unless it gets in his way.

25. Rajinikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

27. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajinikanth.

28. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajinikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

29. Rajinikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

30. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajinikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

31. The square root of Rajinikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajinikanth, the result is death.

32. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajinikanth takes this as a personal insult.

33. Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet with Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity – twice

35. When Rajinikanth does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he's pushing earth down

36. Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

37. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

38. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile

39. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door

40. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

41. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

42. If you google search "Rajinikanth getting kicked" your search will generate 0 results. It just doesn't happen.

43. It takes Rajinikanth 20 mins to watch 60 minutes

44. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

45. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajinikanth lives in Chennai

46. Rajinikanth once age an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink

47. The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajinikanth are his films.

48. Rajinikanth every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

49. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth there is no other way.

131 jokes on rajnikant

1. Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it’s Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.

2. Everything Punjabiportal has been so far was actually done to publish this article in praises of Rajnikant.

Members can suggest more facts about Rajnikant and punjabiportal.com and submit it in comments. We will add them with your name in this article.

Facts submitted by the readers of this article:

1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!! - by Ketan Raiyani

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!! - by Ankit Shukla

3. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !! - by Ankit Shukla

4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”‌ - by Ankit Shukla

5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!! - by Ankit Shukla

6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!‌ - by Ankit Shukla

7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol - by TJ

8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!! - by TJ

9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife. - by Vivek Singhania

10. There in nothing Rajini’Kant do. - by Pras

11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other. – by Sourav Ghosh

12. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one” - by Pras

13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants. - by Rajini

14. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside. - by Prabh

15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle. - by Abbas

16. Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants. - by Abbas

17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simply stomped his foot and they all died. - by Abbas

18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him. - by Abbas

19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. - by Abbas

20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land. - by Abbas

21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning. - by Abbas

22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. - by Abbas

23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired - by Abbas

24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on. - by Abbas

25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana - by Abbas

26. In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.” - by Abbas

27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet. - by Abbas

28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably. - by Abbas

29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? - by Abbas

Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it! - by siva

30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!! - by siva

31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant” - by siva

32.Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! - by Nikhil

33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third. – by Arpit Rathi

34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend. - by Arpit Rathi

35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding… while walking… - by Arpit Rathi

36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as “Guiness book of world RECORDS”. - by Arpit Rathi

37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. - by Arpit Rathi

38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.” - by Nikhil

39.When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

44. Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off. – by Harvinder Singh Gill

45. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them! – by Harvinder Singh Gill

46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala. - by Nikhil

47. Rajnikant Bcom Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS - by Nikhil

48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.. - by Nikhil

49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession - by Nikhil

50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent - by Nikhil

51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed. - by John Cena D-X

52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists. - by John Cena D-X

53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse) - by John Cena D-X

54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair. - by John Cena D-X

55. The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′. - by John Cena D-X

56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping. - by Sushil

57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question. - by Manish

58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari. – by Agn

59. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft. - by Harkirat

60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads. - by Pratik Raval

61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives. – by Pratik Raval

62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense. – by Pratik Raval

63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car. – by Pratik Raval

64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language - by Pratik Raval

65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open. - by Pratik Raval

66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did. - by Pratik Raval

67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity - by Pratik Raval

68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same. - by Pratik Raval

69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth. – by Pratik Raval

70. Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth - by Pratik Raval

71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski. - by Pratik Raval

72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth. - by Pratik Raval

73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time. - by Pratik Raval

74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gaga’s poker face. – by Pratik Raval

75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other “Don’t fear brother.. there is nothing like Rajnikant” – by Gaurav Sharma

76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8. – by Aaruni Parimal

77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed – by Mrugesh

78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:) - by Neeraj

79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation. - by Sandeep

80. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!! - by ssumanth

81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.. - by Sandeep

82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him. – by Arun Prasad

83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!! - by Sandeep

84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renal failure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints, RAJNIKANT just says ‘sssshhhuu’ and kidney starts functioning. - by Sandeep

85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track. - by Sandeep

86. Even gajani remembers rajni. - by Sandeep

87. This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar - by Sandeep

88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :) – -by GGJJ

89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. like THE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant. - by @nk!t

90. Why Osama isn’t caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn’t interested. - by nihilist

91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth. Porcupines find him even scary. - by nihilist

92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow. - by Sandeep

93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday. – by dollysandhu

94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhant’s signature. -by Nikhil_The_One

95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why??? because he himself is a process. - by RupamChowdhury

96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus… I just installed RAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !! - by Manish

97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow???? - by Ali

98. When rajnikanth dies, the grave doesnt read RIP, it reads ‘BRB’ - by Zain

99. World cup 2011 Grouping:

Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND

Group B: RAJNIKANTH. - by Ali

100. Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him. – by Bhanupriya

101. Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth , Madras - by Dholak

102. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast. - by Me

103. Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting. - by Me

104. When Pope walks with Rajanikanth, People ask “Who is that guy in robe?” - by Me

105. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood…. - by Aditya

106. No one is perfect, Rajnikant is no one – by Yukta

107. Rajnikanth, it seems is a verb and not a noun. Its the continuous process happening inside and around us. - by Harsh

108. The Indian Government has requested Rajnikanth to restrict importing Bullet trains from China for using them as cartridges in his pistol - by Harsh

109. Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline - by Harsh

110. Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash - by Harsh

111. Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2 - by Harsh

112. Corporate Slogans as they should be:

Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas

The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.

Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)

I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok

Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia

Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola

Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India

A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India

Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo

High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth

Republic of Rajnikanth - by Dr Sunil

113. Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what rajnikanth can do for your country.- by Dr Sunil

114. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love with rajnikanth.- by Dr Sunil

115. One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, “Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok.” Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. “Some bloody telemarketing guy”- by Dr Sunil

116. By the time Grahambell invented telephone, he had 2missed calls from Rajnikanth. – by gau

117. Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: ek chutki sindhoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu???
Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 grams - by Akshay B

118. Once a boy went to xerox Rajnikant’s photograph. The xerox machined got copied twice… - by Dattaraya

119. When Rajnikant signs in at Facebook, Facebook updates its status. - by kundan

120. Anhoni ko honi karde
honi ko anhoni,
ek jagah jab Jama ho teeno
RAJNI , GAJANI aur DHONI.
Congrets team India for winning the cricket world cup. - by Sandeep

121. Once it was extreamly clowdy in china. then they found out that it was rajni who was smoking from india. -by Rohini

122. Rajni was shot with a bullet. The next day it was the bullet’s funeral. -by Rohini

123. Alfred Nobel recieved the Rajnikant Award! - by RNB

124. Once Rajnikant participated in 100m race, obviously he came 1st. But Einstein died after noticing that Light came 2nd..!! - by chaitanya

125. Rajnikaant’s heartbeat is measured in richter scale. – by Yusuf Abdullah

126. Even lord “voldemort” refers 2 Rajini as “He who must not be named” – by Dinesh Rath

127. Once Rajnikant bought 4 acers of land and made 4 wells at each corner. People asked wht was he doing. He answerd that he wanted to play Carrom. - by Raj

128. Rajnikanth bought 2 elephants ,2 camels and 2 horses from the zoo. Why? To Play chess! - by Mahesh Pawar

129. Q: What did John Logie Baird found when he invented television? Ans: There is Rajni’s movie already telecasting! - by Sampat

130. Rajnikant is really mad about people making sms jokes on him that he is thinking of deleting forward options from every phone. – by Zing

131. Rajni knows what’s cookin’ (Rock) - by DATTATRAYA

more Rajnikant

Once a guy winked at Rajnikant’s wife, Rajni twisted his limbs and broke his eyelid.
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We now know him as Baba Ramdev..

Headline Of Today.. Ek train cycle ki chapet main ayi.. Train main sawar sbhi log mare gaye..
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News :Cycle driver “RAJNIKANT” Farrar

Finally scientists get success in finding actual reason of tsunami
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Rajnikant was swimming in the ocean that day!


Rajnikant and a girl were playing cards,
rajnikant had 3 ekkas (AAA) but could not win,why?….
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Becoz the girl had 3 Rajnikants…



Once upon a time rajnikant used tooth powder to get strong teeths.
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Now that powder is used as “CEMENT”..:P


Why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner…?…Coz he wanted to play carrom…!!

Rajnikanth went 2 world cookin championship

of course rajni won.

But
guess
what did he make in final???

Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.
Rajni rocks

Once Rajnikanth hit a boy on the nose..,
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That boy 2day is known as,
‘Himesh Reshammiya’!!

Once a boy ws playin cricket outside rajinikant’s house & the ball hit rajnikant’s window.Rajnikant took d ball n told d boy 2 play slowly……
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that boy is none other than Rahul Dravid!!

Kal Pure INDIA Me Light Chali Gayi,
kyO Pata Hai..

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kyO Ki..

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Rajnikant Bhai mObile Charge Kar Rahe The . .

after 20 years….

robots will make film called Rajnikant !!



Why Airtel changed their Logo??
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Because Rajnikanth didn’t like it

Once Rajnikant said to a quite shy girl “plz talk something”..
Now dat grl is known as..
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Dolly Bindra


The death of Micheal jackson is revealed
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The day before he died
He saw Rajanikanths Dance
And he got shocked
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Because rajani had performed “SUN WALK”


Once Rajnikanth donated blood to a very small, thin and malnourished child…… Today that child is..”The great Khali” !!!

rajnikant jokes againonce James bond shoot a person and say I’m bond, James bond. climax:~ but the person catches the bullet and throw at bond & bon

WeN RaJnIkAnT was a student

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?Teachers used to bunk class…

Once Rajnikant went to U.S. And met Pamela Anderson..he got desperate and wanted to masturbate..
So he went behind a building and did it for few minutes….

That building is now known as…

…THE WHITE HOUSE…;)

one DAY, naasa scientists found something is flying in mars. they become happy and shouts – ‘life on mars, life on mars’
later they found
that
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rajnikant was flying a kite on mars from earth……………..

Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????

All scientist failed bt rajnikanth did…
Q-which liquid turns solid on heating?

Ans-DOSA…

Rajnikant’s ammunition suddenly got over and a villain came in front of him and instantly died coz,
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Rajnikant shouted “DHISHKYAAOON”

once James bond shoot a person and say I’m bond, James bond.

climax:~

but the person catches the bullet and throw at bond & bond dies
the person says

“i m kanth, rajnikanth”

Once rajnikanth gave kiss to his girlfriend Infront of a kid. Now the kid is known as.
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Emran hashmi.

Worldcup schedule

2011GROUP A
AUS,PAK,SL,NZ, ZIM, CANADA,KENYA

…GROUP B
IND,SA,ENG,WI,BAN,IRLAND,NETHERLAND.

GROUP C RAJNIKANTH….

Once a unknown child came to rajnikants house.
When the boy entered,
rajnikant askd ‘ae kaun’?? umm ?? ummm?? :p

And today that boy is famous and known as ‘AKON’:D

More Rajnikant Jokes

1. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

2. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

3.Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

1. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
2. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
3. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

1. One fine day rajnikant sneezed.. next day news paper headline reads : city damaged due to a tornado..
2. Rajnikant's professor frames the questions after rajni completes all the answers.. and at times he fails too..
3. Only rajnikanth knows when A.K HUNGAL was young

1. Once rajnikant was playing cricket in the monsoons.... . . . . . . . . . .. and . . The rain was cancelled due to the match..

2. Rajnikant once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar,
he is now called 50 cent..!!

3. FaceBooK founder Mark Zukerberg hospitalized with serious injury..
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Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook.

Rajnikant rocks

new generation a b c d

A- Apple B- Bluetooth C- Chating D- Download E- Email F- Facebook G- GoogleH- Hotmail I-I-Pod J-Java K-Kingston L-Laptop M-Message N-Nokia O-Outlook P-Print Q-Quick Time R-RAM S-Server T-Touch Screen U-USB V-Vista W-Wi-fi X-XP Y-Youtube Z-Zedge.ne t :D Thank God A is Still Apple :-)

Michael jordan the living legend

Indian Cricketer Sehwag all high score ends with 19 :)

Why do Girls look Beautiful?

Why do Girls look Beautiful?

Is it real
or
due to makeup?

Both false....




Girls look Beautiful because
Boys have good imaginations

Motivational Quotes at its best

Things do not happen. Things are made to happen.
John F. Kennedy

To be a good loser is to learn how to win.
Carl Sandburg

To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise is to have succeeded in life.
Robert Louis Stevenson

True happiness involves the full use of one's power and talents.
John W. Gardner

We make the world we live in and shape our own environment.
Orison Swett Marden

What is called genius is the abundance of life and health.
Henry David Thoreau

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.
Ralph Marston

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
Henry David Thoreau

When you fail you learn from the mistakes you made and it motivates you to work even harder.
Natalie Gulbis

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.
Thomas Jefferson

Wherever you are - be all there.
Jim Elliot

Who seeks shall find.
Sophocles

Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.
Gordon B. Hinckley

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
C. S. Lewis

You can never quit. Winners never quit, and quitters never win.
Ted Turner

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Henry Ford

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
Flip Wilson

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London

You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals.
George S. Patton

You never know what motivates you.
Cicely Tyson

Even more Motivational Quotes

Only the educated are free.
Epictetus

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.
Walter Elliot

Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life.
Jimmy Dean

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
Robert H. Schuller

Quality is not an act, it is a habit.
Aristotle

Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there.
Bo Jackson

Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now. Realize that nothing is too good. Allow absolutely nothing to hamper you or hold you up in any way.
Eileen Caddy

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
Tony Robbins

Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.
Peter Marshall

The dog that trots about finds a bone.
Golda Meir

The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.
Mark Caine

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.
Thomas Paine

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.
Epictetus

The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.
Confucius

The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something.
Muhammed Iqbal

The weeds keep multiplying in our garden, which is our mind ruled by fear. Rip them out and call them by name.
Sylvia Browne

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Confucius

The wise does at once what the fool does at last.
Baltasar Gracian

There is nothing deep down inside us except what we have put there ourselves.
Richard Rorty

Some more motivational Quotes

I can, therefore I am.
Simone Weil

I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.
Ken Venturi

I was motivated to be different in part because I was different.
Donna Brazile

I've worked too hard and too long to let anything stand in the way of my goals. I will not let my teammates down and I will not let myself down.
Mia Hamm

If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.
Emile Zola

If you can dream it, you can do it.
Walt Disney

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Jim Rohn

If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.
John D. Rockefeller

If you've got a talent, protect it.
Jim Carrey
In motivating people, you've got to engage their minds and their hearts. I motivate people, I hope, by example - and perhaps by excitement, by having productive ideas to make others feel involved.
Rupert Murdoch

It's always too early to quit.
Norman Vincent Peale

Know or listen to those who know.
Baltasar Gracian

Leap, and the net will appear.
John Burroughs

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.
Denis Waitley

Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning is where the miracle process all begins.
Jim Rohn

No matter how many goals you have achieved, you must set your sights on a higher one.
Jessica Savitch

One may miss the mark by aiming too high as too low.
Thomas Fuller

One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interests.
Peter Marshall

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.
Michael Korda

Some motivational Quotes

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.
Ayn Rand

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
William James

Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Always desire to learn something useful.
Sophocles

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.
Og Mandino

Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.
Saint Teresa of Avila

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
Wayne Dyer

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail.
John Donne

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter.
William James

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
Norman Vincent Peale
Crave for a thing, you will get it. Renounce the craving, the object will follow you by itself.
Swami Sivananda

Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Thomas Jefferson

Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.
Baruch Spinoza

Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.
Thomas Jefferson

Either you run the day or the day runs you.
Jim Rohn

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
Alfred A. Montapert

Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear.
Baruch Spinoza

Follow your dreams, work hard, practice and persevere. Make sure you eat a variety of foods, get plenty of exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Sasha Cohen

Go big or go home. Because it's true. What do you have to lose?
Eliza Dushku

Bachchans to sell Beti B’s pictures?

It has been some days since Aishwarya and Abhishek took their little baby home. There were grainy pictures of her all wrapped up in pink as grandpa Bachchan carried her out from the hospital - and that was it. So far, the Bachchans have not released her photo or arranged a photo-session for the paparazzi.

This has got the media speculating as usual. Are the Bachchans planning to sell her picture to the magazines? The latest buzz is magazines are scurrying to bag the first exclusive pictures — and are quoting an amount to the tune of over Rs5 crore according to DNA. The report also says that even international magazines are involved in the competition.

read complete news @

http://in.omg.yahoo.com/blogs/arc-light/bachchans-sell-beti-b-pictures-060150222.html