Monday, September 29, 2008
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .
God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. "Marry me - That's Telemarketing"
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you "Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich! "Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback"
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap"
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share"
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly
her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking
too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when u're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I
don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied,
"I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!!"
1. "A person should not be too honest.
Straight trees are cut first
and Honest people are screwed first"
2. "Even if a snake is not poisonous,
it should pretend to be venomous."
3. "The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody.
If you cannot keep secret with you,do not expect that other will keep it !
It will destroy you."
4. "There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
There is no Friendship without self-interests.
This is a bitter truth."
5. "Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions -
Why am I doing it ??? What the results might be ??? and Will I be successful ???
Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these
questions, go ahead."
6. "As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
7. "Once you start a working on something,
don't be afraid of failure n don't abandon it.
People who work sincerely are the happiest."
8. "The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
9. "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
10."Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.
For the next five years, scold them.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend.
Your grown up children are your best friends."
11. "Education is the best friend.
An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth."
This Is Mumbai. A CITY where everything is possible>
Especially the impossible.
Where lovers first love and then marry,
Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
Where carbon dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
Where skyscrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the roads seesaw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,
Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,
Where college admission means hard cash,
This is Mumbai my dear,
But don't fear, just cheer,
Come to Mumbai every year!
Things that prove you're a Bombayite
You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this
means south of Churchgate.
You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya
Hindi’, which only Bombayites can understand
Your door has more than three locks.
Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important
events of life.
You spend more time each month traveling than you
spend at home.
You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of
Walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
You have the following sets of friend: school
friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office
friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only
Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if
you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more
familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamont Road
Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides
The first thing that you read in the Times of India is
the” Bombay Times" supplement.
You take fashion seriously.
You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice
You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of
any other cities of India.
The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
Your idea of personal space is no one actually
standing on your toes.
Being truly alone makes you nervous.
You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the
monsoons, and actually call it 'romantic'.
Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and
You call traffic policemen 'Pandus" and expect
Out-of-towners to understand that.
Anyway, welcome to MUMBAI city!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an
individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of
resumes he found four people who were equally qualified; an American,
a Russian, an Australian and a Indian. He decided to call the four in
and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who of them
would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table
the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know?'
Dave, the American, replied, 'A THOUGHT. It just pops into your
head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.'
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer.
'And now you sir?' he asked Vladimir , the Russian.
'Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know
that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know.'
'Excellent!' said the interviewer.
'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich for speed.'
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his
Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the
wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out
across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A
LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.'
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light' he said.
Turning to Patel , the Indian , the fourth and final man, the
interviewer posed the same question. Patel replied, 'Apter herring da
3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is
'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others
were already giggling in their seats...
'Oh, I can expleyn sir,.' said Patel, ' You see, sir, da ader day my
tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but
before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done
it in my pants!'
Patel is now the new 'Greeter' at Wal-Mart
Monday, September 1, 2008
THE POWER OF RADIATION
A very important message to everyone,
please read it carefully.
1 Egg, & 2 Mobiles
65 minutes of connection between mobiles.
We assembled something as per image:
Initiated the call between the two mobiles and allowed 65 minutes approximately. ..
During the first 15 minutes nothing happened;
25 minutes later the egg started getting hot;
45 minutes later the egg is hot;
65 minutes later the egg is cooked.
Conclusion: The immediate radiation of the mobiles has the potential to modify the proteins of the egg. Imagine what it can do with the proteins of your brains when you do long calls.
Please try to reduce long time calls on mobile phones and pass this mail to all your friends & Family you care for.
Only when u give it a sunny smile
Friendship is a lock that opens
Only when u unlock ur true self to it
Friendship is a song which is sung
Only when u know its rhythm
Friendship is a dream which comes true
Only when u believe in it
Friendship is a sun which rises
Only when ur heart has set on it
Friendship is a throne,on which u can sit,
Only when u share ur kingdom with it
Friendship is a path,which u will find,
Only when u know u are lost
Friendship is a hand that holds urs
Only when u extend urs
Friendship is an album of reminiscences which u can leaf through
Only when u cherish it
Friendship is a lamp which lights
Only when u know it will assuage ur heart
Friendship is a lantern which glows
Only when u need the warmth of it
Friendship is a language which u speak
Only when u know the meaning of it
Friendship is a potpourri of feelings which u can smell
Only when u have a true friend!:)
and i have a true frnd “That’s U” :P
5 rules for Good student
1) Never make noise in class respect the fact that others are sleeping.
2) Keep the college clean so stay away.
3) Take some fruits for the animals in the staff room.
4) Always take books cos u dnt get pillow to help u sleep well.
5) Never be early to class or else no one will notice u.
1. Make money.
2. Make some more money.
3. Make a lot of money .
4. Make even more money.
5. Keep making money.
6. Don’t stop making money.
7. Repeat 1-7………
u r my fuckin friend…
n I hop u knw dats fuckin true…
No matter wht d fuck happns…
I wil stand d fuck by u…
I wil fuckin b dere 4 u…
ven evr d fuck u need me…
2 lend a fuckin hand or nythng xcpt money…
2 do a fuckin good deed…
So jus fuckin call on me….
Whnevr d fuck u need me…
Fuck, i wil alwys b dere…
Even 2 d bittr fuckin end…
k nw jus shut d fuck up n read it proprly…so…
u lyk it….no?….dan fuck u…mo’fucker…FUCK OFF…
cut FUCK from all lines and see wat i want to say to u